hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
