You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
