New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
