oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
