Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
