I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
