Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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