It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i came on her dog
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
