i permit you to call me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
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i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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