I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
