i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
