Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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