So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize