is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
