a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
