I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
