the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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