I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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