His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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