she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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