It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
