she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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