terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize