Fuck appropriateness.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
this will be a night to untag.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
