What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize