i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
