I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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