oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
