hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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