i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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