i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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