Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
