Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
