I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
barbara walters just said penis...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
