Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize