Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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