i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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