Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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