I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
