just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
