so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
