so explain again why im purple
no
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize