I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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