i was born a porn star she said
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
