it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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