So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
