he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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