i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im holly from the hills drunk
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
