Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize