yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
