Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize