I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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