Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
