shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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