May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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