I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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