All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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